Among the Herd - Ceramics, wood, metal wire, newspaper - 80 x 150 x 70 cm
Dear “Among the herd”,
My feelings for you are conflicted, so i decided to write you a letter. In this way I hope to sort out these thoughts directed towards you. I am happy you exist, that I created you, and by doing so I learned from you in multiple ways. But there is a undeniable sadness within me for creating you. Not only because for me you represent a time when I was not in the right state of mind, but also because you are my weakness. The time I gave in too a feeling to please, to not “kill” but to make it “alive”. To not confront my public with a beheaded sheep, denying your death, i feel like i cheated.
I wanted to bring change and thought it would lead to something new, a different path. I really tried, but it felt too forced. It only shows more what really matters for me, the story I want to tell with my art. That idee of your head just like many other "real sheep" ending up rolling, your flesh packed and proccesed.
You show how unfocused and astray I was from my heart. So much that I want to set you on fire and let it burn away. Your head and feet left over in the ashes like the bones in a cremation. But in my work death is the beginning, and maybe from your ashes a work will be created, as a phoenix.
In a way I showed you compassion by sparing you death and giving eternal presence, though it might be more of a curse than blessing.
I don't want to murder, break you. As a artwork you have a right to be and exist, I think. I am a creator not dictator. Before I gave you a body and legs to stand on I thought about your story, I was doubting to give you death. I created your head with death in mind but I wanted to much. Even before showing you I thought about taking of your head and thus making you undeniably dead, even executed with a clean cut. Your head at your feet.
What I lose i wouldn't be able to gain back.
In a way you are among the herd, part of the many artworks that the maker isn't pleased with. You will always be the black sheep among my art pieces.
Yours sincerly, Ellis
Among the Herd
Among the Herd detail
Among the Herd detail
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